How to be a Better Husband

I am going to be writing this hub about how to be a better husband from my own perspective, that of a wife. Some of the things I say may sound stereotypical, and I'm okay with that. I think there are similarities that most women share, and needs that most men need to address. Of course, not everyone will find this information as useful, as we are all different and are married to different individuals. Take what you can and run with it. Simply ignore what you disagree with or what does not apply to your marriage.

Most of the qualities of how to be a better husband take time to develop. You have to learn, practice, and retrain your thinking process. Surprises, though, are something you can start right now. Although women want security, they also want spontaneity. Confusing, huh? Our need for spontaneity comes form the fact that we want you to be thinking about us.

But, if you're not thinking about her, being a better husband through spontaneity can still work for you. Go to your office calendar or any calendar that your wife won't be seeing. Choose between six and twelve dates within the next year. On the last date you choose, make a note to choose more dates for the next year, so that the habit continues. As each date approaches, do something special for your wife. It can be flowers, or you can write her a love note. You don't have to spend money. You could use that day to look over pictures from your wedding day or honeymoon. They key is that you initiate some relationship builder without her expecting it. (You can tell her about the calendar trick, she'll still think you're great, but you don't have to.)

Your wife wants you to think that she is beautiful. She wants to be the most attractive person in the world to you. She wants you to feel this way whether she is nine months pregnant or ninety years old. How in the world can you make her feel this way? Pretty simple, actually: make her the only woman that you see. Of course you are going to see other women, they are, after all, 52% of the population. But do you have to dwell on their beauty? No, you do not. You do not need porn and you do not need eye candy. This one will take practice and will power, but you will find marital rewards if you follow through.

Women need security. This isn't a fairy tale. This isn't made up. It is a real need, especially if there are children. We need to know that we are going to be safe and provided for. If a man does not provide this security, then a woman will go to great lengths to provide this for herself. This will rob the husband of the sense of accomplishment and will take away form the marriage. How this need manifests itself in women varies greatly, but if your wife is making more money than you, she has already felt this need and it was not fulfilled. Talk to her about the need for security and brainstorm together about how you can step up to the plate.

Do you love your wife? Does your wife know how much you love her? Tell her how much you love her. Tell her why you love her. Look for new reasons to love her more.

The majority of wives feel under appreciated. Think of what you do at work. If you do something very well, you get a raise or a promotion, right? Every single day your wife does something very well and has never gotten a raise or a promotion for it. Whether she works outside of the home or not, she does the majority of the work around the home, and you don't even notice unless something goes undone. She may be a marvelous cook, and you gobble down those dinners silently. You think your eager anticipation of a second helping is all the thanks she needs, but it is not. She needs to hear what you think of it and not just when you think she's added too much salt. If she makes the bed every single day, just once comment on how nice it is to crawl into that nice bed each night. And if she works outside of the home, you should be doubly appreciative of what she does around the home.