Mom Daughter

A mom daughter relationship is very complicated. Your daughter or mother can be your best friend, or she can become your worst nightmare. As a daughter, you can do some things to steer this course, but the main influence on how this relationship turns out is the mother. She sets the tone in how she raises her daughter and thus much of the focus of this hub will be on the mom much more than on the daughter. A daughter can hopefully glean some wisdom from this as well, though.

Every little girl looks first to her mother to see who she should grow up to be. A mother is a role model for their daughter. You will see little girls holding dolls, pretending to be their mother. You will see them with a broom or fake food, pretending to cook and clean like their mom. You will see them playing dress up, putting on mom's work clothes and wearing her shoes and make up. A daughter imitates their mom. That is the essence of the mom daughter relationships and where the problems stem from.

If you are dysfunctional in one area or another, this will be projected to your daughter. If you are a workaholic, you may see your daughter pushing herself too hard towards perfectionism. If you have body image issues, you may see your daughter dieting from a young age. If you have issues with depression, your daughter will find it hard to be happy with herself.

On a flip side, these same problems that your daughter sees in you, she will also rebel against at certain times. Occasionally, a daughter will rebel against your vices while mimicking your strengths, but don't count on it. If you keep a tight schedule, which is healthy for an adult, your daughter may never be able to be on time. Or, if you keep the home orderly and need, your daughter may never find the time to clean her own room or locker at school.

The best thing a mom or daughter can do for their mom daughter relationship is to work at being a well rounded individual yourself. Obsessing about the relationship won't help you as much as developing your own self. Find your interests and try to share them with your daughter. Join your daughter in what she is interested in, but without being overbearing or obsessive. Being a well rounded and healthy individual will make you a role model your daughter will be happy to emulate.

If your daughter is grown and you feel the damage is done, you can still work to correct it. Work at being well rounded now. Show your daughter that people can change. Apologize for your short comings, but do not dwell on your past. Move forward and invite your daughter to join you. Sincerely ask for her forgiveness for any areas you may have fallen short in in the past. If your daughter is grown and has children of her won, she will likely understand.